mewrt.

what is not fear is ambivalence

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 11:50:00 -0500

So there is a quote: “What is not love is fear.”

It is super simplistic.

But. I am pretty much controlled by fear. It is the emotion to which I am most accustomed. There is literally nothing I am not afraid of, if you break it down. And it can all be distilled into:

things changing
things staying the same
me changing
me staying the same

I don’t know how to get past this. The overriding theme is that I feel a huge amount of ambivalence towards everything. I stay in limbo for so long in every situation that I just stop caring as a way to stop feeling uncomfortable.

I feel like my thoughts are incredibly mutable by outside forces, which would lead to me having none at all. But that is just a feeling, it is not the truth. In truth, I guess I have tons of deeply held opinions and ideas, but lack the will to force them onto others. I think it really might be more comfortable for me to be uncomfortable myself than to cause discomfort for others.

YES I CANNOT WAIT bantam: SHOUT! ACQUIRES LOST SKELETON...

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:09:14 -0500

YES I CANNOT WAIT

bantam:

SHOUT! ACQUIRES LOST SKELETON RETURNS AGAIN AND DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

We are happy and pleased and also excited and pleased to announce that Shout! Factory has just acquired North American DVD and digital rights to THE LOST SKELETON RETURNS AGAIN and DARK AND STORMY NIGHT. Both Shout! and Bantam Street are thrilled about the teaming and look forward to a long and fruitful relationship.

I’ve been a big fan of Shout! since they started releasing box sets of SCTV some years back, and their sensibility is right up our alley (if we have an alley—I think we do—somewhere). As you can see, they release some very cool and eclectic stuff (I have recently been enjoying HIYA KIDS, their compilation of vintage 50s TV kids shows).

http://www.shoutfactory.com/

THE LOST SKELETON RETURNS AGAIN and DARK AND STORMY NIGHT DVDs will be launched at Comic-Con in July. Both will be loaded with extras in typical Shout! fashion.

But wait, there’s more.

Our own Mike Schlesinger is masterminding a theatrical release of not only those two films, but also TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEAD (which he’s dubbed “The Thrillogy”). This will be in March, in support of the DVD release, and the films will piggyback around the country to select cities. And, yes, they’re family friendly, so bring the kids.

From the moment we met with Shout! we had a mutual feeling that this was an ideal partnership, and we couldn’t be happier about it—particularly in the current tough market.
—Larry Blamire

new directions. inward.

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:25:22 -0500

Hate. I hate a lot of things. I have a tendency to get myself entangled in situations that feel like they are beyond my control. But the reality is that they are completely within my control. I allow other people to dump all their shit at my feet. And it doesn’t make sense. Who am I to them?

I struggle to understand different perspectives, to figure out what people are feeling, but most of the time I don’t like what I find out about them. I think it might be healthier for me to just continue working on my own perspectives. I need to get a firm handle on those in order to be able to interact with anyone, anyway. I need to have a strong foundation from which to interact.

And I need privacy more than almost anything else. Privacy helps me feel safe. So why the drive to put myself out there so much? Why the constant doubting of what I know in my gut is best for me? Need to learn better ways to remind myself of what is really important.

facebook doppelgänger meme is hard

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:06:31 -0500

Michael: Go with Gilda.
me: but i dont look like her
Michael: Sure you do.
me: i am afraid it would be flattering myself
me: i think maybe the last person - who is stanley tucci's sister
Michael: No, Ed also thinks it.
me: no he just thought i acted like her
Michael: No, he thought it, too
Michael: That you looked like her, that is.
Michael: Also, Jamie Gertz is kinda close
me: i dont know
me: gilda and jami both have shorter noses than me
Michael: You have anorexia of the nose.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Deanna: I would say the top two are gilda and stanley tucci's sister. I kinda went "whoa!" when i saw the last photo, thinking something like "she could be your sister".
But you worship gilda and the caricature of rosanne rosannadanna is enough, so I think that's the winner. or put both!
me: Dark Horse Option! [picture of Kate Bush]
Deanna: YES! Kate Bush for the win. Big eyes, sort of similar through the nose and mouth - plus, awesome.
me: But won't people be all "hah don't kid yourself you tiny gargoyle"
Deanna: Nope, just your mean brain. Everyone else will think "Fo sho, totally". Plus that you have good taste. But everybody thinks that part anyway.
me: Aw thank you for the hand-holding.
me: Sign of the apocalypse: Michael just used the phrase "mad cute." To describe me. Since when am I dating a white rapper?
Deanna: Aw, you and Sweet Dee have something in common! Except Michael's nowhere near retarded of course

"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same."

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 09:37:23 -0500

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.”

- Carlos Castaneda

dealbreaker: DEALBREAKER: You Dye Your Vagina Thusday, January...

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:48:40 -0500

dealbreaker:

DEALBREAKER: You Dye Your Vagina

Thusday, January 14th, 2010: Women’s Self Esteem Hits an All Time Low

Your labia is fine just the way it is.

Love,

Dave and Marisa

Agreed

Amazon.com: In the Sun B/W I Can Hear Music: She & Him: Music

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:34:00 -0500

Amazon.com: In the Sun B/W I Can Hear Music: She & Him: Music:

Why do they release singles on the vinyl only??!! Whyyyyy???

2009: “This Love Is F*****g Right!” by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart 1989:...

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:10:00 -0500

2009: “This Love Is F*****g Right!” by The Pains of Being Pure At Heart

1989: “This Love Is Not Wrong” by the Field Mice

If Selma Bouvier had a cat instead of an iguana.

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:04:22 -0500

If Selma Bouvier had a cat instead of an iguana.

“Call to Love” by Crooked Fingers

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:45:00 -0500

“Call to Love” by Crooked Fingers

"Be careful what you publish on Facebook, even if you have nothing to hide. I was turned down for a..."

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:41:22 -0500

“Be careful what you publish on Facebook, even if you have nothing to hide. I was turned down for a job because of my wedding pictures. My husband and I got married at Montreal’s Palais de Justice in the only presence of our two witnesses, then went to eat in Chinatown nearby. We did it for cost and sanity reasons. However, to a potential employer, it demonstrated my “inability to plan a large-scale project, handle challenges and manage stressful situations””

- CBC News - Montreal - Depressed woman loses benefits over Facebook photos

"Were I the perfect child of God whose faith was deep and love was broad not doubtful, guilty, worn,..."

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:10:12 -0500

“

Were I the perfect child of God
whose faith was deep and love was broad
not doubtful, guilty, worn, or flawed
I’d gladly follow Jesus

But I’m the child of what I’ve been
estranged by much I’ve done and seen
afraid to show the love I mean
unfit to follow Jesus

Yet God, who knows me first and last
who’s seen my best, my worst, my past
has shown his love intense and vast
by meeting me in Jesus

For Christ, though killed at Calvary
by sins like mine and folk like me
has risen, forgiven, and set me free
made fit to follow Jesus

Then sprinkle water on my brow
as in this place, I make my vow
to own and love my Savior now
and give myself to Jesus

God grant me what I still require
that I, in others, might inspire
the hidden hope, the deep desire
to love and follow Jesus

”

- John Bell, 2005

"If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem. There’s a man with whom I went..."

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:56:00 -0500

“

If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

”

- “Schrödinger’s Rapist”

Whilst trying to type “worship,” I typed “work ship.” Seriously. Sigh.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:52:44 -0500

Whilst trying to type “worship,” I typed “work ship.” Seriously. Sigh.

things that are not included

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:24:00 -0500

In the list of things doctors must provide and insurers must cover without asking the patient for extra money:

pelvic exams
domestic violence screening
counseling about sexually transmitted diseases
the provision of birth control
maternity care
newborn care
pediatric dental and vision services
substance use disorder services

via The Nation

This morning I thought I could not find my cell phone somewhere in my house. So I went on my morning...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:21:24 -0500

This morning I thought I could not find my cell phone somewhere in my house. So I went on my morning dog walk and off to therapy without it. Then I heard it ringing when I got to work. It was in the trash bin next to my desk.

"The habit of despair is worse than despair itself."

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:31:29 -0500

“The habit of despair is worse than despair itself.”

- Albert Camus (1913-1960), The Plague (via ontheborderland) (via crashinglybeautiful) (via honeyhands) (via daisytoes)

Michael: PopMatters on Twilight: It doesn't ring true

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:22:00 -0500

Michael: PopMatters on Twilight: It doesn't ring true
Michael: I just realized that "Veronica Mars" is the anti-Twilight.
Me: Why does no one ever address the elephant in the room? IT WAS WRITTEN BY A MORMON. It is not going to ring true for the majority of thinking people, sorry.
Michael: My guess is that they don't do that because they don't want to be accused of religious intolerance... That, of course, doesn't mean you're wrong in any way.
Me: But everyone is always bringing up Jewish authors' Jewishness. I think it needs to be addressed because she is damaging young girls' ideas of romance even more than our culture already does.

Everyone is doing their Halloween Playlist… so here is...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:20:00 -0400

Everyone is doing their Halloween Playlist… so here is mine

And finally…

"I don’t necessarily think 26-year-old white guys are that interesting. So why would I want to make..."

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:54:40 -0400

“I don’t necessarily think 26-year-old white guys are that interesting. So why would I want to make another movie about their coffee shops and romantic pratfalls?”

- David Gordon Green, writer/director, All the Real Girls